Touchmark Post

This morning, the garbage truck came to my house. I’m so embarrassed that I don’t take my own trash to the dump each week. Instead, I depend upon the garbage collector to do it for me. (For an interesting pictorial history of trash removal, visit http://refuse.ci.columbus.oh.us)

As I drove to work today, I stopped at a gas station, feeling rather sheepish about the fact that I had not drilled and pumped the oil myself. I filled my car’s gas tank with ease and drove away. Later, I actually enjoyed lunch in spite of the fact that someone else had done the shopping, preparing, and cooking for me. They served it to me in an appealing way and with a tasty aroma. And they cleaned up the dishes! I was utterly ashamed at such lack of independence. (Of course, I’m joking. It was delightful!)

Does this sound like anyone you know? Fairly often I hear people say that they are going to stay in their own home as long as possible. Although I’ll admit that there is nothing wrong with enjoying one’s own home, I’ve come to believe that what people really are saying is that they must remain independent. They fiercely cling to the idea that if they were to move to a resort-style retirement community like ours that they’d be giving up their independence. There seems to be a fear that someone else would be doing things for them that they should be doing for themselves.

It’s a fact that our country was built on the strong shoulders of those who did many things themselves with the true grit of independence. I appreciate that. (http://www.americanwest.com/pages/wexpansi.htm)

But here’s my thought: I also see value in finally being able to rely a bit upon someone else to help with the more mundane things of life. If you’ve read my earlier blog posts, you know I am a strong proponent for staying active, expanding your social circle (not letting it shrink), challenging one’s self, and continuing to grow.

Too often, I see people commit to a meager life, holed up in a big old home alone. House maintenance and taking care of the yard weighs on this kind of person. He or she struggles to find someone to manage the snow, feels at risk with the bills and paperwork, sees only the same one or two people each week, looks forward to a doctor’s appointment as an “outing,” and feels like a burden if he/she needs something. It just doesn’t seem right.

Some people understand that by seemingly giving up some things, they receive even greater rewards, such as an expanded social circle, interesting conversation, a new dance partner, a reason to get up and a purpose to stay up, a new hobby or a revived old one that can be shared, peace of mind that someone will indeed be there when needed, and no grassy lawn taunting, “mow me, mow me!” Granted, I’m from a younger generation, but it sounds sweet to me.

Remember, our nation’s own Declaration of Independence states: “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.” (http://www.earlyamerica.com/earlyamerica/freedom/doi/text.html)

Today I’m declaring my dependence—or at least interdependence. I’m shouting it with pride. I’ll go so far as to say life is even better when we have others in our life who make the journey just a bit (gasp) easier and more enjoyable.

In the words of one Touchmark resident: “When we moved to Touchmark on West Prospect [several] years ago, we felt this was our new home. Since then, that has been reinforced by you, your staff, and residents. We were both independent at the time of our move … Both of us have agreed that Touchmark on West Prospect was a wise decision, as the service is outstanding, the many activities are varied, and the menu and food are good. We have not missed being in our home we had lived in for 51 years since moving here. We have no family in this area and feel all of you are a wonderful replacement.”

Consider this thought: You get to choose which things you rely upon others for; you are still calling the shots … you just enjoy the help of others where you want or could benefit from it.

There’s no shame in admitting that we are a mixture of independent and dependent. That makes for a better world for all of us. I challenge you to celebrate your dependence … even declare it!