Touchmark Post

A couple of months ago, I posted a blog about making the globe a warmer place to live. At the end, I encouraged people to do something kind, thoughtful, patient, tolerant, lighthearted, or loving. Guess what? Wonderful things are happening.

Recently a woman who lives at Touchmark came to the receptionist with an amazing story of kindness that had happened to her. She was shopping at a new grocery store, and only after having all of her groceries scanned was she informed that she would not be able to use her credit card. The line behind her was long, and it was an embarrassing moment. She didn’t have enough cash with her to pay for the bill. Her ice cream and other perishable items were at risk of growing warm if she drove across town to the bank or her home for more money. She thought she’d have to get out of line and put all the items back. Then she heard a voice behind her.

“I’ll pay for her.” the voice said. She turned to see a man further back in the line who was offering to pay for her nearly $50 dollars worth of groceries. He didn’t know her. She didn’t know him. She couldn’t believe it, but she accepted his generous offer with the intention of getting his contact information for repayment. He didn’t ask her name. He just pleasantly paid the bill and told the woman that she reminded him of his mother or grandmother, and he felt for her predicament.

It was only after the transaction was complete that the woman told the generous man where she lived. Come to find out, the gentleman had heard of Touchmark.

As it turns out, the man—Hardeef S. Arora—owns and operates BB Convenience on American Drive in Appleton … right down the street from Touchmark on West Prospect. Furthermore, Touchmark is a regular client at the gas station. The retirement community fills all of its business vehicles at Hardeef’s station because of his great customer service and the convenient location.

Later that day, Carol, the Touchmark resident, visited the station and repaid Hardeef, repeatedly thanking him for his generosity. Always the gentleman, Hardeef offered to pump gasoline for Carol’s car.

“I’ve never in all my 84 years had someone be so generous. He didn’t even ask my address or who I was before he offered to pay. I have told everybody of his generosity and recommend that they buy their gasoline at his station. My husband and I even go out of our way to stop at his station before we head the other direction out of town. I’ll never forget how he rescued me and restored my faith in people!” states Carol as she relayed her new favorite experience to friends.

The other day I saw two men pushing a car to the side of the exit ramp. A woman sat inside the car. Clearly, her car had stalled, and the two men pulled their own vehicle over to help her out of a dangerous situation.

My own mother had youth from outside of the area come to her home to repaint her house. Each of the students paid $400 to have this experience. Surprisingly, there was no charge to my mother.

You may not know when your own mother might need help.

Unbeknownst to you, you might be serving a customer of yours above and beyond the usual situation.

The person you show patience to could be someone who could help you in return. But one thing is for sure: The saying “what goes around comes around” makes a lot of sense. It makes the world a much warmer place for all of us to live.

Let’s keep it going. Do something kind, thoughtful, patient, tolerant, lighthearted, or loving to someone today.

If you’d like to show your appreciation for someone who’s willing to go out of his way to befriend older adults, feel free to stop by BB Convenience gas station at 2675 American Drive, Appleton, Wisconsin.

This morning, the garbage truck came to my house. I’m so embarrassed that I don’t take my own trash to the dump each week. Instead, I depend upon the garbage collector to do it for me. (For an interesting pictorial history of trash removal, visit http://refuse.ci.columbus.oh.us)

As I drove to work today, I stopped at a gas station, feeling rather sheepish about the fact that I had not drilled and pumped the oil myself. I filled my car’s gas tank with ease and drove away. Later, I actually enjoyed lunch in spite of the fact that someone else had done the shopping, preparing, and cooking for me. They served it to me in an appealing way and with a tasty aroma. And they cleaned up the dishes! I was utterly ashamed at such lack of independence. (Of course, I’m joking. It was delightful!)

Does this sound like anyone you know? Fairly often I hear people say that they are going to stay in their own home as long as possible. Although I’ll admit that there is nothing wrong with enjoying one’s own home, I’ve come to believe that what people really are saying is that they must remain independent. They fiercely cling to the idea that if they were to move to a resort-style retirement community like ours that they’d be giving up their independence. There seems to be a fear that someone else would be doing things for them that they should be doing for themselves.

It’s a fact that our country was built on the strong shoulders of those who did many things themselves with the true grit of independence. I appreciate that. (http://www.americanwest.com/pages/wexpansi.htm)

But here’s my thought: I also see value in finally being able to rely a bit upon someone else to help with the more mundane things of life. If you’ve read my earlier blog posts, you know I am a strong proponent for staying active, expanding your social circle (not letting it shrink), challenging one’s self, and continuing to grow.

Too often, I see people commit to a meager life, holed up in a big old home alone. House maintenance and taking care of the yard weighs on this kind of person. He or she struggles to find someone to manage the snow, feels at risk with the bills and paperwork, sees only the same one or two people each week, looks forward to a doctor’s appointment as an “outing,” and feels like a burden if he/she needs something. It just doesn’t seem right.

Some people understand that by seemingly giving up some things, they receive even greater rewards, such as an expanded social circle, interesting conversation, a new dance partner, a reason to get up and a purpose to stay up, a new hobby or a revived old one that can be shared, peace of mind that someone will indeed be there when needed, and no grassy lawn taunting, “mow me, mow me!” Granted, I’m from a younger generation, but it sounds sweet to me.

Remember, our nation’s own Declaration of Independence states: “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable rights, that among these are life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.” (http://www.earlyamerica.com/earlyamerica/freedom/doi/text.html)

Today I’m declaring my dependence—or at least interdependence. I’m shouting it with pride. I’ll go so far as to say life is even better when we have others in our life who make the journey just a bit (gasp) easier and more enjoyable.

In the words of one Touchmark resident: “When we moved to Touchmark on West Prospect [several] years ago, we felt this was our new home. Since then, that has been reinforced by you, your staff, and residents. We were both independent at the time of our move … Both of us have agreed that Touchmark on West Prospect was a wise decision, as the service is outstanding, the many activities are varied, and the menu and food are good. We have not missed being in our home we had lived in for 51 years since moving here. We have no family in this area and feel all of you are a wonderful replacement.”

Consider this thought: You get to choose which things you rely upon others for; you are still calling the shots … you just enjoy the help of others where you want or could benefit from it.

There’s no shame in admitting that we are a mixture of independent and dependent. That makes for a better world for all of us. I challenge you to celebrate your dependence … even declare it!

We are all at risk of climate change due to human activity. But I’m not speaking about the traditional sense of the term global warming. I’m not asking you to reduce your carbon footprint. I am suggesting that you increase your caring footprint.

People who subscribe to the conclusions presented by the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) know that this is the scientific group charged with the task of viewing research and making projections about the risk of climate change caused by human activity It is this group that was granted—along with former Vice President Al Gore—the Nobel Peace Prize in 2007.

There is great discussion of the carbon footprint of each human being on the face of the earth, and how we might reduce the long-term negative impact of our existence on the planet. (For more information on climate change or global warming, see: www.epa.gov/climatechange/basicinfo.html.)

Reducing our negative impact on the world is something I can buy into. Whether or not you believe in the projected outcomes referred to as global warming; regardless of your political views; in spite of your ecological stand with regard to our planet, I encourage you to stop and think about a different way to make a warmer globe.

In a world full of negative, nightly news and local stories of danger and tragedy that weigh down the soul, it seems our world could use a few more people focusing on the good around us. It seems when we focus on the negative, soon all we see is negative. This reminds me of the story about the father who fell asleep, and the children decided to play a trick by rubbing Limburger cheese on his mustache. When he arose, he realized that the room had a terrible smell. He left the room and went to another part of the house, only to find that the entire house reeked of a foul odor. Going outside and taking a deep breath of fresh air, he exclaimed in disgust, “I guess the whole world stinks!”

With regard to aging, some would focus on the negative … the losses, the changes, and the disability. I prefer to focus on the positive … the richness, the adventures, and the remaining or newly forming abilities of a longer life. Call me Pollyanna. That’s fine. But I’m surrounded by people who make growing older look more worthwhile than the media portray.

Having just celebrated the remembrance of some of our country’s greatest selfless acts of service on Memorial Day, I was reminded of why we dare risk it all. Recently, I asked a World War II veteran if he was proud of his military service. He replied, “It’s not about pride. It was my duty.” For him, it was a given that he’d do what he could to serve others and his country. There was too much to lose if one didn’t act.

I grew up in a small town most of my life. I knew our neighbors by name. I knew each of the children’s names—and even the dogs were known. When we ran out of something or needed a helping hand or wanted to celebrate some good news, our very willing friends were no more than just a door or two away. Although I now live in a community that is more than 200,000 people—and growing—kindness is still right next door.

Recently my oven stopped working. I was in the midst of mixing up a batch of cookies for some friends who needed a friendly touch. With dough in hand, I called my neighbor, who was gracious and willing to let me enter her home, even though she and her family were just leaving for the evening. She told me how to operate her oven. The cookies baked and were delicious, but the warm act of kindness was more lasting. It touched my heart that there are still people who choose trust over fear and kindness over busy coolness. I myself can use a regular dose of this kind of global warming. It’s good to be reminded to increase our caring footprint in this world before we are gone.

Today, do something kind, thoughtful, sensitive, patient, tolerant, lighthearted, or loving. Don’t be detoured by what others will think or how they may or may not react. Indeed, the world may look at you differently. In some cases, people may even wonder about your sensibilities. There’s clearly too much good to be lost if we don’t act—and so much to be gained in our world when we do.

After you are gone, people might just say, “She/he made the world a warmer place to be.”
For more positive thoughts, visit: http://www.speakingoftrees.com/2007/10/22/a-thousand-things-went-right-today/